It's dangerous out there

School started last week, so I'm back to getting up early and having something to do.  It's not so bad.  After I lost my job, things got pretty boring at home.  I'm back with some friends everyday, and that's good. Or it was. Now I'm worried.

Last night a bunch of us got some beer and headed out to the lake.  It's still light until eight o'clock at least, and we stayed on until about eleven. Everything went okay until about nine-thirty when these guys in a boat came up to us asking all the girls to get on the boat.  My friend Kristie is a little man-crazy, so she went with them, even though everybody knows it's dumb to go off with strangers.  We told her not to, but she got pretty mad at us and went anyway and told us to go on home.  The guys - I guess they were college boys - said they'd get her home.  We waited anyway for an hour and a half, then went home. 

Kristie wasn't in homeroom this morning, so I called her cell.  Her mother answered it and said Kristie was sick.  She told me not to call again, like it was my fault or something.  Not good.  You gotta be careful out there.

My Best Memory

I was thinking today about how much I'd like to get out of town and go ona vacation.  Most of my friends have done something this summer, but not me.

I know it's not going to happen, but all my wishing for a trip made me remember about the one time I did go on vacation.  My aunt and uncle took me with their family to the beach.  Even though I spent a lot of time on my own, it was a special time.  I did a lot of thinking while I stared at the ocean and watched for dolphins.  I was 13 years old, and it seems like I knew a lot more about what I wanted back then.  Was it the vacation away from home?  Maybe it was because  I was away from the trouble in my house and wasn't upset while I was there.

 

I felt strong and happy, but now that face makes me sad.  The best time I remember in my life didn't take place when I was with my folks, but when I got away from them.

Messed up summer

It's been a while since I wrote in here last.  That's because things have been so crazy.  First, I lost my job.  I couldn't get there every day like I was supposed to.  My mom didn't get home to take me every time.

I guess I was pretty mad about the job and did some stuff I shouldn't have.  Me and some friends of mine went out to some boat docks and found the boat that belonged to my old boss.  We did some damage.  Not that bad, really, but enough.  So, the police came and I admitted it.  I told them it was just me, so I was the only one in trouble.  The cops took me to the jail, and I was there all day until my mother got me out.  Then, I had to go into court, but the judge was okay about it.  He gave me some community service, so I was right back to work, this time doing some babysitting in a First Steps school.  That was okay, except my mom forgot to come right home after work yesterday, so I'm in trouble again for now showing up. 

Now, summer is nearly over and I have to start back to school soon.  I guess I'll go back.  What else is there to do when you don't have a car and can't drive or anything?  School is way better than sitting at home, especially in my neighborhood.

No Father's Day for Us

Sunday I was walking to work and stopped a dadt the drugstore for a minute just to cool off.  It's only about 95 degrees every day.  When I went in a friend of mine was standing in front of the cards, and I stopped to talk to her.  She was getting a last-minute Father's Day card for her dad.

I had forgotten it was Father's Day.  I think I ignored it on purpose, because I haven't seen my dad in about a year and a half.  No calls, no cards - Nothing.  We don't know where he went or anything.  My sister says he left because he was going to be arrested, but I don't know.

Well, at least I didn't have to spend money on a card.

Nobody Gets It

For the second time in a week, my mother didn't come home to take me to work.  I called a friend who came to my rescue, but it didn't get me completely out of the dog house.  I was late getting there, and my boss told me he would fire me if I was out again without any notice.  You'd think he'd be happy I got a ride and all.

It seems to me like nobody ever tries to see my side of things.  I just want to tell my mother how mean she can be.  She knows I want to make some money so I can buy some new clothes for school.  It gets old wearing my sister's old stuff, and I think I'm already taller than she is.  Maybe I can even make enough to get a cell phone. I'd have to keep working to pay the bill, but that's okay. 

My boss doesn't know a lot about me, but I did tell him I was counting on my mom to bring me to work.  He could give me a break if he wanted to.  He made a pass at me the other day.  Maybe he didn't like the way I said I wasn't interested. 

I had to walk home when I got off.  My mom still isn't here.  I don't know where she is tonight, but I know where her Jack Daniels is.  Tonight I'll let Jack keep me company.  I'll forget about my mother after I have a couple of drinks, and the bonus is my mother will be majorly pissed off when she finds the bottle empty.

Dropping Out

I got a job last week and started working a couple of days ago.  I'm scooping ice cream and, so far, it's okay.  I started thinking about the money I'll be getting at the end of next week.  I can get some new clothes, which is good because my shoes are about to come apart and my jeans are too short.  My mother wants me to help out with groceries and stuff like that. We never have enough to pay all the bills, and I don't want to have to move again.

It seems to me like there's not much reason for me to go back to school in the fall.  Even though I'm only getting a little more than minimum wage, the owner says if I stay with it, I'll get a raise in six months.  If I can keep that up, I'll make as much as my mother in a couple of years.  My mom never gets much chance for a raise, because she keeps getting laid off from jobs, but still she has a high school diploma.

The main reason to finish high school is so you can go on to college, right?  As I've been told many times, my mother won't have the money to help me with that, so I think it's a lost cause for me.  My aunt keeps telling me I can get the scholarship money, but I'd have to keep living at home and I just don't want to.  I don't think I'd be good at college anyway - it's just more years in a classroom listening to a lot of junk nobody cares about.  I'd rather be earning some money so I can get a car.

Anyway, I don't think my mother cares if I finish.  Probably nobody will even notice if I quit, but I'm going to wait to see how the job thing works out. There's still a couple of months to decide.

A not-so-great summer

Yesterday my mom left me a note to say she would be home very late.  That evening I was sitting at home on the porch trying to stay cool since the a/c  is broken.  I hear this party going on down the block with a lot of whooping and yelling. You know, a real drunken kind of bash.  I thought I'd just go over there and crash, but I was about to step into the yard where a lot of people were dancing when I heard my mom's voice.  She was one of them - the drunks, that is.

I backed out of there and went home, but I started worrying, you know?  I couldn't sleep because she was over there drinking and sometimes she gets herself into trouble.  I think it was about 3 in the morning when she came in, but what a mess she was.  She'd already gotten sick at least once, I knew by the smell when she grabbed me around the neck and asked me to get her to bed.  It took quite a while to get her cleaned up - twice of course, because she puked again 10 minutes after she got in.  I guess I'm just glad she came home this time.

My summer isn't working out so well.